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It was about 20 years ago, but I can still vividly bethink the moment my admirer asked me to ally him, and again pulled out a design assurance ring.

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It was a algid winter night, and we were sitting on the rug in advanced of my broiler in my city condo. Aback I saw the little box, I was in shock (in a acceptable way!) It acquainted like a bewitched moment; I was instantly transforming from a distinct babe who had anachronous a agglomeration of Mr. Wrongs to a woman who was accepting her absurd ending.

At that admirable moment, I could never accept accepted that years later, our alliance would crumble, that we would get divorced, that I’d be a distinct mom, and that the beautiful, sparkling, absolute design arena that I wore so proudly for so continued would sit in a drawer for several years until I absitively to advertise it.

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For best afar women, if and aback you advertise your bells rings and what you do with the money are actual difficult, anxious decisions. Why? Because there is so abundant affect complex in departing with a allotment of adornment that represented love, commitment, trust, and the dream that it would break on your feel until the day you died. Also, these decisions are actual personal. No accommodation is appropriate or wrong, and no one should adjudicator addition for what she decides to do.

I asked a few groups of afar women on Facebook, “How continued did you delay afore affairs your assurance arena and what did you do with the money?”

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In commendations to aback they awash their rings, the responses were all over the board. Some beggared with their arena appropriate afterwards they became separated, others captivated off a little while, some (like me) waited several years, and some still accept their rings or don’t plan to advertise them at all.

For the women who did sell, actuality are 34 responses about what they did with the money:

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Although it is oftentimes affecting to allotment with such a cogent keepsake, I accept that if you delay until you feel the time is right, affairs your arena can be liberating and empowering. For me, it acquainted about ceremonious, like an admission to formally absolution go, to accepting what happened, to putting abjure abaft me, and to dispatch into a brighter, bigger future. I can’t say I acclimated the money for annihilation in particular. I aloof spent it on accustomed life, beholden to accept a little bit of banking accent briefly lifted.

My arena is gone, but I will say, I accept yet to allotment with my bells dress. The white strapless, now best clothes has been sitting in the basement in an airproof, apparent box for the accomplished 19 years.

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I charge acknowledge that I adore attractive at it from time to time, and abandoning what happened the night I wore it; I danced with my bedmate and we acquainted accurate beatitude together. And that beatitude resulted in two children, two admirable miracles that far outweigh the affliction of divorce.

Jackie Pilossoph is a freelance columnist for Chicago Tribune Media Group. She is additionally the architect of her annulment abutment website, Afar Babe Smiling. Pilossoph lives in Chicago with her two children.

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