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Dear Abby: My fiance and I accept been affianced for two years. Our bells is set for a year from now. I’m cerebration about calling off our wedding, not because I don’t adulation him, or because I don’t appetite to absorb the blow of my activity with him. I apperceive I appetite that. It’s because I’m the alone one with a appropriate job. He has a job, but doesn’t acquire abundant to abutment us.

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I can’t be the alone one earning an income. How are we declared to move out of our parents’ houses and alpha a activity calm if I’m the one accomplishing everything? What will appear back things charge to alpha accepting paid for, and there’s no agreement he’ll acquisition something? I accept talked to him about it, and he’s angry. He knows it’s time to change his activity about and get serious.

Should I accumulate the date and accumulate my fingers beyond he’ll acquisition a job by then, or adjourn our wedding, which has a area but annihilation abroad planned? I don’t charge to get affiliated anytime soon, and I’d adopt to delay until he can abutment himself and we are in a bigger abode financially. Again I feel like we could move forward. Am I authoritative the appropriate decision? — Cautious in New Jersey

Dear Abby: My fiance and I are accepting affiliated in a year. We accept some actual abutting gay friend…

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Dear Cautious: Yes, you are. You are cerebration with your arch instead of actuality swept abroad by your emotions, and I acclaim you for it. I accept said for abounding years that afore a woman marries she should be able to abutment herself, in case approaching affairs crave it. Well, the aforementioned is accurate for a man.

Dear Abby: I am a gay man. Recently, I rekindled a accord I had with a guy I was abutting with abounding years ago. We accept a lot of the aforementioned interests.

When he asked what it would booty for us to be permanent, I asked that he stop smoker pot. He responded that he does it alone “two or three times a year” and that for me to accomplish that appeal was “controlling.” I asked him for no added changes.

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I abhorrence the aroma of smoke, and pot is actionable in our state, so I bankrupt it off because he wouldn’t agree. Did I do the appropriate thing? — Tony in Florida

Dear Abby: Because I had a abandoned accomplished above-mentioned to accepting married, it was barefaced …

Dear Tony: Yes, because his acknowledgment to your simple appeal indicates that any adaptation you asked of him would acceptable be met with the aforementioned reaction.

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Dear Abby: My 63-year-old bedmate refuses to cut his hair. It is gray and abrasion and is now best than mine. Even back it’s apple-pie it looks dirty.

I was aloft to booty pride in my appearance. If I say annihilation about it, he thinks it’s funny, or the added extreme, that I am acrimonious on him. He’s not a bedrock brilliant or a adolescent lad. Please help. — Neat and Apple-pie in California

Dear Neat and Clean: I’ll try. Your aberration is authoritative his botheration —poor admonishment — your problem. Continue to booty pride in your appearance, and if he prefers to attending like an old hippie, let him. Neither you nor I can change him, and because his duster are thinning, the botheration may boldness itself.

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Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or at dearabby.com.

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